I'm not talking about in the car either. (Although my husband probably wishes that was my lesson, I have an affinity for accelerating). Anyway.... I recently had the great fortune to have my life come to a screeching halt. I do not begrudge it at all and I'm open to the lessons, truly.
I really thought that I had slowed my life down dramatically. I value peace and calm. I rarely overextend myself anymore or commit to things that I don't want to do. What I find is that I am still on somewhat of a hamster wheel. After a recent surgery, I have had a period of recovery. For one that has not had so much as a stitch, this has been enlightening to say the least. An injury last year, had me humbled as well but I was able to power through, keep going like a zombie chasing (an unarmed) Rick. Recovering from surgery is far different. Not only does your body have to slow down but your mind does as well. This was challenging as I am in the middle of life coach certification, starting my new Facebook page, working with my own coach, and of course my current HR job.
I'm really starting to see how I have reacted and handled things in the past vs. how I am handling things now. Before, I would have been completely derailed. If I laid in bed and questioned my decision or felt like it was too much work, that would be the moment I gave up. One particular day during my recovery, I was running a fever, laying in bed feeling like a blob. Those thoughts came to me... this is alot of work Julie, are you up for it? Did you make the right decision? Should you be doing this? I recognized these sneaky little lies. I recognized that I was tired and I didn't feel good. And no, this day, this moment, I didn't feel like doing any of this. But this will not last. I will recover, I will feel so much better now, I will be spinning on my hamster wheel soon enough.
I also think that sometimes when we do not take the time we need for ourselves, our bodies, the universe, whatever, says "let me help you" (wink,wink).... and we are otherwise forced to take the much needed break.
I have tried to relax into this. I gave myself many permissions. Permission to not feel guilty that I wasn't doing anything! Permission to watch Netflix, permission to sleep whenever I wanted, permission to not take work calls while I am convalescing. I chose my healing over anything else. It feels good that I am honoring my body. I desire to honor my mind more in the future as well. And when we can act with integrity toward ourselves, we can much better act with integrity toward others.
What are some ways that you can honor yourself?
Even though it is March, I still feel like this year JUST started. I entered 2018 with more clarity and more intent than I've had in the past few years. My eyes seemed to be open, I did not seem to be just trying to survive or find my place anymore. My feet seemed to back under me after several years of what felt like being off course (like waaay of course), flailing, lost (in so many ways)...
I have come to appreciate those dark places though. Before, I would have been kicking and screaming and otherwise just trying to deny the reality - that I was just at an in-between place. We cannot argue with reality though. Best just to accept it. What I realize now is that the more you resist the longer it persists. We need those times to take stock and regroup, then we are able to re-emerge a better version of ourselves. I stopped beating myself up for not having parts of my life figured out, for not being where I felt I 'should' be at this age, for everything not being perfect. I started being a friend to myself instead of an enemy and critic.
Letting go of some of those expectations allowed something to open within me. The more I got to know ME in that dark place, the more I was able to re-emerge and do some of the things I had been until now only thinking about. The call of Life Coaching finally got the attention it has been waiting for. A thought I had tossed around for several years. I understand the value as I have had a few myself and they have been incredibly beneficial.
For so long, I hid behind the statement, "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up." And that's ok, many people never have a clear indication but that doesn't mean that one should not do anything. What it really meant was that I had a fear of trying anything. I would stick with what I knew (and disliked) just for the sheer comfort that it is what I knew. I finally decided that I was tired of that craptastic way of thinking. It made alot of sense when I quit doubting myself. I've been coaching people for years! I've had endless coaching sessions as an HR professional. Employees, managers, CEOs. It also employs my love of psychology and my realization that how we think determines how we live. Our thoughts determine whether we are miserable or whether we are joyful. We must take a driver seat approach to that thinking though. We cannot just let our thoughts be unsupervised. Maybe I was too lazy before, or thought that whatever life gave me was what it wanted me to have, instead of freaking creating it for myself! Same with our thoughts. We are so much better off not taking what comes but creating with intention what we think. Bringing those thoughts into submission. We want to act like we are the victim, that we have no control. We do have control over that very thing. We certainly do not have control over others or our circumstances but we DO have control over our mind and our reactions. This is where we distinguish ourselves as bitter or better. And who doesn't want to be better?! I see too many unhappy, bitter people and I want none of that, thank you.
December 2017 I made my first step and enrolled in a life coach certification program and am now starting to build my practice. There are fears for sure but this is a great test of my own personal mindset. I needed one action and a commitment to begin. That was the missing piece for all of those years. One small action and commitment started the momentum. Working with my own coach provides support, encouragement and accountability as well. For too long, I was an island just hanging out with my thoughts and not putting any action or commitment into them. That makes it hard to feel motivated or supported. It has made a big difference for me and I look forward to being that support for others.
So what are you wanting to start? What are you wanting to change or let go? Are you ready to leave the island?