Even though it is March, I still feel like this year JUST started. I entered 2018 with more clarity and more intent than I've had in the past few years. My eyes seemed to be open, I did not seem to be just trying to survive or find my place anymore. My feet seemed to back under me after several years of what felt like being off course (like waaay of course), flailing, lost (in so many ways)...
I have come to appreciate those dark places though. Before, I would have been kicking and screaming and otherwise just trying to deny the reality - that I was just at an in-between place. We cannot argue with reality though. Best just to accept it. What I realize now is that the more you resist the longer it persists. We need those times to take stock and regroup, then we are able to re-emerge a better version of ourselves. I stopped beating myself up for not having parts of my life figured out, for not being where I felt I 'should' be at this age, for everything not being perfect. I started being a friend to myself instead of an enemy and critic.
Letting go of some of those expectations allowed something to open within me. The more I got to know ME in that dark place, the more I was able to re-emerge and do some of the things I had been until now only thinking about. The call of Life Coaching finally got the attention it has been waiting for. A thought I had tossed around for several years. I understand the value as I have had a few myself and they have been incredibly beneficial.
For so long, I hid behind the statement, "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up." And that's ok, many people never have a clear indication but that doesn't mean that one should not do anything. What it really meant was that I had a fear of trying anything. I would stick with what I knew (and disliked) just for the sheer comfort that it is what I knew. I finally decided that I was tired of that craptastic way of thinking. It made alot of sense when I quit doubting myself. I've been coaching people for years! I've had endless coaching sessions as an HR professional. Employees, managers, CEOs. It also employs my love of psychology and my realization that how we think determines how we live. Our thoughts determine whether we are miserable or whether we are joyful. We must take a driver seat approach to that thinking though. We cannot just let our thoughts be unsupervised. Maybe I was too lazy before, or thought that whatever life gave me was what it wanted me to have, instead of freaking creating it for myself! Same with our thoughts. We are so much better off not taking what comes but creating with intention what we think. Bringing those thoughts into submission. We want to act like we are the victim, that we have no control. We do have control over that very thing. We certainly do not have control over others or our circumstances but we DO have control over our mind and our reactions. This is where we distinguish ourselves as bitter or better. And who doesn't want to be better?! I see too many unhappy, bitter people and I want none of that, thank you.
December 2017 I made my first step and enrolled in a life coach certification program and am now starting to build my practice. There are fears for sure but this is a great test of my own personal mindset. I needed one action and a commitment to begin. That was the missing piece for all of those years. One small action and commitment started the momentum. Working with my own coach provides support, encouragement and accountability as well. For too long, I was an island just hanging out with my thoughts and not putting any action or commitment into them. That makes it hard to feel motivated or supported. It has made a big difference for me and I look forward to being that support for others.
So what are you wanting to start? What are you wanting to change or let go? Are you ready to leave the island?